Review: Drowning Instinct by Ilsa J. Bick

There are stories where the girl gets her prince, and they live happily ever after. (This is not one of those stories.)

Jenna Lord’s first sixteen years were not exactly a fairytale. Her father is a controlling psycho and her mother is a drunk. She used to count on her older brother—until he shipped off to Afghanistan. And then, of course, there was the time she almost died in a fire. 

There are stories where the monster gets the girl, and we all shed tears for his innocent victim. (This is not one of those stories either.)

Mitch Anderson is many things: A dedicated teacher and coach. A caring husband. A man with a certain... magnetism. 

And there are stories where it’s hard to be sure who’s a prince and who’s a monster, who is a victim and who should live happily ever after. (These are the most interesting stories of all.)

Drowning Instinct is a novel of pain, deception, desperation, and love against the odds—and the rules.

Holy. Hell. What an emotional ride.. I think I experienced every possible feeling a human being can have reading this little heartbreaker.

"They call it the drowning instinct. It's when drowning doesn't look like drowning. ... you don't look like you're in trouble. You don't scream, but that's because you can't... You're just there, so people don't notice your dying. ..."

I read it practically in one sitting ~ unable to put it down ~ and I remember looking up from it from time to time, catching the breathe I didn't realize I was holding, and shaking my head in disbelief as if the movement would knock the shock out of me.

There are some very controversial elements in this story ~ factors that have seemed to influence some readers to give this book a more negative review. An older man. A teenage girl. High school teacher. Troubled student. Sounds like a recipe for disaster ~ or at least some jail time. But, although situations like this would ordinarily cause me to cringe, I actually felt... hope?... for these two tragically broken people...

The story is told in Jenna's voice as she "confesses" the truth of an incident into a policeman's tape recorder.. And from the very start, it's made completely clear that she is... damaged... Jenna has been ~ nearly literally ~ through Hell, back, Hell, and back again... Her family is a well-masked mess, and she has the horrific urge to release her pain through seeing her own blood seep from her skin ~ she's a cutter, but she's trying not to be...

She moves to a new school ~ one she thought would be like any other, until she meets Mitch...er...Mr. Anderson. It begins innocent enough. A well intentioned teacher trying to help one of his students thrive... so when does it come to the point where it crosses the line? The thing is, Mitch is just as torn apart, and he sees a mirror image of his broken heart in Jenna.... They seem to feel that they pull strength from each other's tragedies... but, at the same time, they destroy each other and themselves...

This book is almost overwhelming at times.. Jenna is struck hard with one obstacle after another ~ it's amazing she's able to hold on at all.. A drunken mother and Psycho Dad ~ parents who are too busy with their own dysfunctional relationship to see what is happening with their daughter. A pedophile for a grandfather, a brother away at war... and in the middle of all that, her beacon of hope, Mitch Anderson... the only one who sees her and brings her the truth.. or does he?

The writing is poetic and Jenna's voice distinct in its resigned tone. Not a light read with its elements of self-destruction, denial, and betrayal.. But oh-so-worth your time..

Five out of five stars from this reader.


Happy Reading Everyone :)


~ Keely ~

Tuesday Prelude

Tuesday Prelude is a meme inspired by Should Be Reading's Teaser Tuesday. It's the same concept, except I can't even pick just two sentences and call it good. I need more.... teasers, videos, pictures, interviews, etc., to make me feel like I've satisfactorily made you absolutely need to read this book :)...


This week's prelude is inspired by Drowning Instinct by Ilsa J. Bick....

I just finished this book, and... wow.. speechless.. "can't even write a review, yet" - speechless... this book was overwhelming ~ I felt.. no, experienced... every emotion you can imagine with this book.. It's just incredible...

There are stories where the girl gets her prince, and they live happily ever after. (This is not one of those stories.)

Jenna Lord’s first sixteen years were not exactly a fairytale. Her father is a controlling psycho and her mother is a drunk. She used to count on her older brother—until he shipped off to Afghanistan. And then, of course, there was the time she almost died in a fire. 

There are stories where the monster gets the girl, and we all shed tears for his innocent victim. (This is not one of those stories either.)

Mitch Anderson is many things: A dedicated teacher and coach. A caring husband. A man with a certain... magnetism. 

And there are stories where it’s hard to be sure who’s a prince and who’s a monster, who is a victim and who should live happily ever after. (These are the most interesting stories of all.)

Drowning Instinct is a novel of pain, deception, desperation, and love against the odds—and the rules.

Here are some of my favorite quotes... My copy is filled with dog ears (yup, I committed the "reader's mortal sin".. hey, at least I can't bring myself to highlight.. cut me some slack) so I could flip through and find the parts that hit me the hardest.

 

   "Finally a red bead oozed and ballooned, and I sighed with relief as my blood bubbled and drew out the poison that was Grandpa.
   There was this cutter back on the ward. She etched words and letters. But I didn't.
   Honestly, Bob: how do you carve a scream?"

   "I also have-sensed that we were dancing around something, doing a complicated series of steps to some ancient rhythm that he knew but I didn't yet understand. Or maybe I was dancing alone, the whole scenario enfolding in only my imagination. Like so many other things."

   "Despite the hours I'd spent getting shrink-wrapped, I still wasn't sold that talking did a whole heck of a lot except let everyone else know what was going on inside your head. It's not like talking ever made anything go away."

   "I was alone. I was sweet sixteen, the age when a mermaid finds her prince. I believed in magic and love at first sight and fate. I was every girl who ever lived. So now I had an adventure all my own, a deliciously agonizing secret."

   "He was facing me now, leaning forward, face intent, his eyes grabbing mine so I couldn't look away. We were like matching bookends, almost touching but with volumes between us and stories, so many stories."

   "Cured is just a synonym for coming around to your way of thinking."

It's just so friggin' good, I have to share all this with you. I have to get it out before it drives me CRAZY! This book had me gasping for breath because I didn't realize I had held it for so many pages... trust me, okay?

And my favorite, favorite, absolute favorite part....

 

"They call it the drowning instinct. It's when drowning doesn't look like drowning. ... you don't look like you're in trouble. You don't scream, but that's because you can't... You're just there, so people don't notice your dying. ..."

And I'm speechless all over again.

Just. Read. It. Now.

Happy Reading Everyone :)


~ Keely ~

Tuesday Tickle: Drowning Instinct by Ilsa J. Bick

Tuesday Tickle is a meme inspired by Should Be Reading's Teaser Tuesday. Still the same basic idea, but it goes a bit deeper, offering a more in-depth look at characters, settings, or the author's that write these amazing stories.

My TT is plucked from the pages of Drowning Instinct by Ilsa J. Bick.

There are stories where the girl gets her prince, and they live happily ever after. (This is not one of those stories.)

Jenna Lord’s first sixteen years were not exactly a fairytale. Her father is a controlling psycho and her mother is a drunk. She used to count on her older brother—until he shipped off to Afghanistan. And then, of course, there was the time she almost died in a fire. 

There are stories where the monster gets the girl, and we all shed tears for his innocent victim. (This is not one of those stories either.)

Mitch Anderson is many things: A dedicated teacher and coach. A caring husband. A man with a certain... magnetism. 

And there are stories where it’s hard to be sure who’s a prince and who’s a monster, who is a victim and who should live happily ever after. (These are the most interesting stories of all.)

Drowning Instinct is a novel of pain, deception, desperation, and love against the odds—and the rules.

Jenna Lord is the incredibly profound person who releases the pain and disgust she feels inside by mutilating the outside. She cuts. Her family is a wreck. With Psycho Dad and Drunk Mom, not to mention her Protector Brother who's overseas fighting a war, Jenna is pretty much on her own. Until, it seems, she goes to Turing High. 

::a look through jenna's eyes::

Turing High was one of those Psycho-Dad command decisions, same as us moving to a new McMansion ninetey miles north of Milwaukee after my stint in the psych ward. Or was that my breakdown? No, no, it was my "little episode," Psycho-Dad-speak for my stay in the place where nuts feed the squirrels. My father always called it a "little episode," as if my life was a sitcome and we could simply channel surf right past.

The truth is, Bob, that no matter how far or fast you go, the past always follows: an inky, faceless thing tacked to your shoes that only the harshest light can kill, and then just for those few moments when there is nothing byt the strongest fire from the brightest sun, breaking over your shoulders, burning that shadow-and your past-into ash. 

Finally, a red bead oozed and ballooned, and I sighed with relief as my blood bubbled and drew out the poison that was Grandpa. There was this other cutter back on the ward. She etched words and letters. But I didn't. Honestly, Bob: how do you carve a scream?

Silence is not an option, either. Silence is resistance and, as we all know, resistance is futile.

This girl is full of mystery but at the same time she has this way of baring her soul in a way that either makes you laugh hysterically or want to weep. Simply amazing so far, with the writing style and character building ~ I wish time was on my side so I could simply read straight through without stopping.

What's tickling your fancy today?


Happy Reading Everyone :)


~ Keely ~